jes dreamin’

Now, sleeping is not one of my strong points so in an attempt to improve my skills in that area I invested in a hypnosis/relaxation CD that pretty much guarantees to send one off to the land of nod with a minimum of fuss. I started using it on Saturday night and I have to say the results are not quite as intended…. Dad always said I was an awkward bugger, it would probably work fine for anyone else. I’ll elaborate – the CD has two tracks on it, the first one is simply to help you relax and subsequently promote the Zzzzzs while the second one does that plus goes on about guaranteeing pleasant dreaming experiences that will enable resolution of problems or issues bothering the subconscious mind….. hmmm.
Track 1 is useless to me… I tried to relax in accordance with the instructions but all I could think about was the really funny (and slightly annoying) way the guy on the CD pronounced his words, e.g. “unconscious” became “aaaanghconscious”, and the rather funky stereo sound effects going on in the background.
Track 2 is remarkably effective….. it’s content bearing very significant fruit on the tree of my psyche (what?!)….. just not quite the flavour of fruit intended….. nasty little poisonous berries instead of juicy peaches I think. For ‘pleasant dreams’ in my case read ‘terrifying nightmares’. I don’t know if it means I have a bunch of chainsaw-wielding skeletons hiding in my subconscious closet but as an example last night I happily dropped off around 10pm but by 11.30pm I’d met my body double in a scary old house, it really was my identical twin except for the unusually pale skin and the black holes where eyeballs would normally have been. It was wearing one of those ghostly off-white nightshirt type affairs that you see in Hammer Horror movies set in the 19th century. Scared the living daylights out of me, enough such that I woke up in a cold sweat yelling my head off in terror. Hope the neighbours didn’t hear me :o). Didn’t sleep a wink the rest of the night. Saturday night was a similarly exciting time….
So now I have no idea whether to keep on with this CD thing… give it time to work these demons out of my system (which could take a long time…..) or bin it now before I wet myself…. :o)
I should probably be concerned about what I have just revealed of myself to you lot. But lets be honest – it’s really rather funny isn’t it?!